Slow it down!
Enjoy this holiday season. Learn to savor life.
Listen to Connie's Get a LIFEVision tip here.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN.
LIFETip: Beat the Holidy Blues
Thrive this Holiday season!
Beat the Holiday blues.
Listen to Connie's Get a LIFEVision tip here.
Thrive this Holiday season!
Beat the Holiday blues.
Listen to Connie's Get a LIFEVision tip here.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!
LIFETip: Intuitive Eating
Prepare yourself for all the holiday eating this season.
Listen to Connie's LIFETip on intuitive eating.
Prepare yourself for all the holiday eating this season.
Listen to Connie's LIFETip on intuitive eating.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Are you missing the cream?
Hi Ladies,
A few weeks ago I had an experience that just made me stop and look at the world differently--you know the kind of glimpse you get when suddenly you think, Why didn't I see it that way before? Reminds me of the song in Runaway Bride that says (paraphrasing), "Today, I took a walk among the flowers...I never saw blue like that before."
It's been a busy summer. I didn't know why I was feeling so exhausted and impatient. I seriously felt like running away from home. Then talking with a friend I realized that with all six children home every day, it had taken it's toll on my time. So I got it together and worked with my husband to carve out some time for myself. Wonderful. Good. End of story.
Except that this through this one particular moment I suddenly looked at my children and thought--am I missing the cream? Am I just waiting for them to hurry and grow up so I can get some sleep, and in the meantime, missing the good stuff?
I'm not talking about being hard on ourselves or not owning that it's a tough season of life, not at all. And generally I feel like I am a good mother, as you are. But sometimes I wonder in our society, and in our private moments, if we are missing the joy of children.
I read years ago in C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce--about people from Hell getting a chance to visit Heaven-- that while there they saw a beautiful woman with the most extraordinary light and angelic singing around her, and just the most majestic, incredible sight you could see. Someone said, Oh that must have been someone very important (like a senator or president). And the host said, Oh no, she was a mother.
Too often, I confess, I am ready for them to nap before they are, too functional because we need to keep a schedule and too quick to cut the humor out of our life.
I have had not one, but MANY people for some reason lately (in a grocery store, on a walk) share with me, "It flies Connie, you will blink and they will be gone." Of course, that's usually when it's a very long day and I think, I know you are right but I just can't feel it.
So I have tried very hard to jump forward and see what it will feel like not to have them here everyday. It's been an interesting experiment. I find myself paying attention to their spirit more than the state of their rooms. I look in their eyes more and cup my hands on their cheeks, even my older ones. When my Cindy-Lou-Who looking three-year-old was supposedly down for the night, we heard a soft creak, then a patter, then, the impish face peeking around saying, verbatim, "Mom, I want to cuddle you...I just want to be with you...I just like you."
I have put down my notepade on "my time" and played another game or simply looked into their eyeballs while, in discovery, they pluck and rip out mine.
I am learning to listen to them and to take note. Yesterday my daughter skipped on the sidewalk as we talked of what things she could be when she was older. She turned to me in pure elation and freedom and said, "Mom, when I grow up, I want to be myself." Then a skip and a turn, "I don't know what I want to do, but I know I can do it." I almost burst into tears right there. At six she has savvy that took me years to learn. As I listen to her, and FEEL her words, I feel strengthened and know I can do it too.
My husband and I got a glimpse awhile ago of what it may truly feel like to not have them here. We had been over a group of young adults in our church, about 25 of them from 18 to 30. Then things changed and the adults began attending a specific time block for their age group. One Sunday we were all connected, the next Sunday they were gone. I was bereft. I wasn't emotionally prepared for the change, though I knew it was coming. Their spirit, energy and vitality, our connection was gone. And though it wouldn't have been right or any good to try to prolong it--they needed to move on--it still has left a space in my heart that I just don't know how to fill.
I imagine that's a little like what my own children leaving will be.
So now, thanks to your and others' sweet reminders, I am trying to soak up the cream now. To see them, to experience them and not wish it away for a better time. To simply enjoy.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President LIFEChange
www.lifechangeprogram.com
A few weeks ago I had an experience that just made me stop and look at the world differently--you know the kind of glimpse you get when suddenly you think, Why didn't I see it that way before? Reminds me of the song in Runaway Bride that says (paraphrasing), "Today, I took a walk among the flowers...I never saw blue like that before."
It's been a busy summer. I didn't know why I was feeling so exhausted and impatient. I seriously felt like running away from home. Then talking with a friend I realized that with all six children home every day, it had taken it's toll on my time. So I got it together and worked with my husband to carve out some time for myself. Wonderful. Good. End of story.
Except that this through this one particular moment I suddenly looked at my children and thought--am I missing the cream? Am I just waiting for them to hurry and grow up so I can get some sleep, and in the meantime, missing the good stuff?
I'm not talking about being hard on ourselves or not owning that it's a tough season of life, not at all. And generally I feel like I am a good mother, as you are. But sometimes I wonder in our society, and in our private moments, if we are missing the joy of children.
I read years ago in C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce--about people from Hell getting a chance to visit Heaven-- that while there they saw a beautiful woman with the most extraordinary light and angelic singing around her, and just the most majestic, incredible sight you could see. Someone said, Oh that must have been someone very important (like a senator or president). And the host said, Oh no, she was a mother.
Too often, I confess, I am ready for them to nap before they are, too functional because we need to keep a schedule and too quick to cut the humor out of our life.
I have had not one, but MANY people for some reason lately (in a grocery store, on a walk) share with me, "It flies Connie, you will blink and they will be gone." Of course, that's usually when it's a very long day and I think, I know you are right but I just can't feel it.
So I have tried very hard to jump forward and see what it will feel like not to have them here everyday. It's been an interesting experiment. I find myself paying attention to their spirit more than the state of their rooms. I look in their eyes more and cup my hands on their cheeks, even my older ones. When my Cindy-Lou-Who looking three-year-old was supposedly down for the night, we heard a soft creak, then a patter, then, the impish face peeking around saying, verbatim, "Mom, I want to cuddle you...I just want to be with you...I just like you."
I have put down my notepade on "my time" and played another game or simply looked into their eyeballs while, in discovery, they pluck and rip out mine.
I am learning to listen to them and to take note. Yesterday my daughter skipped on the sidewalk as we talked of what things she could be when she was older. She turned to me in pure elation and freedom and said, "Mom, when I grow up, I want to be myself." Then a skip and a turn, "I don't know what I want to do, but I know I can do it." I almost burst into tears right there. At six she has savvy that took me years to learn. As I listen to her, and FEEL her words, I feel strengthened and know I can do it too.
My husband and I got a glimpse awhile ago of what it may truly feel like to not have them here. We had been over a group of young adults in our church, about 25 of them from 18 to 30. Then things changed and the adults began attending a specific time block for their age group. One Sunday we were all connected, the next Sunday they were gone. I was bereft. I wasn't emotionally prepared for the change, though I knew it was coming. Their spirit, energy and vitality, our connection was gone. And though it wouldn't have been right or any good to try to prolong it--they needed to move on--it still has left a space in my heart that I just don't know how to fill.
I imagine that's a little like what my own children leaving will be.
So now, thanks to your and others' sweet reminders, I am trying to soak up the cream now. To see them, to experience them and not wish it away for a better time. To simply enjoy.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President LIFEChange
www.lifechangeprogram.com
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
What You Missed!
What you missed last week on Life is Too Short internet radio show!
An inspiring, touching show with Renee Bondi on being engaged at 29 and two weeks later becoming a quadraplegic.
An inspiring, touching show with Renee Bondi on being engaged at 29 and two weeks later becoming a quadraplegic.
Connecting concepts from Barbara-Barrington Jones on what ails women around the globe and how we can clean it out and live joyful lives.
Click here to listen!
http://planetarystreams.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=173&Itemid=136
http://planetarystreams.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=173&Itemid=136
The Needful Thing!
Hi Ladies,
Do you get through a day and feel like you've been spinning your wheels? Can I just tell you that it has been like that in great measure this week and most especially today BECAUSE MY BABY WILL NOT SLEEP AND I CAN'T GET A BLESSED THING DONE. Did I mention this is causing me a bit of stress?
Because so much of our daily society is wrapped in go-go-go, we can tend to start strong and focused at the beginning of the week or day, only to end up putting out fires instead of focusing on what matters most for us at that particular time or point in our lives.
In Good to Great, a fabulous book by Jim Collins, he discusses what makes good companies into great companies. One concept he shared was about the flywheel--that as a company focuses on one major concept and turns the wheel (no matter how long it takes to make that one turn), they will continue to turn the wheel until it gets its own momentum. Then the wheel will take off in flight with hardly any effort.
I find the same thing for my time and energy. As you go through your week, remember the LIFEChange concept of one main goal a week. This keeps your focus on exactly what will move you forward in the thing that absolutely matters most to you during the week. When I lose sight of that and get mired in my 56th post-it note to myself, I realize that I'm really not getting much accomplished. What I'm spending my precious energy on is avoiding the reality of what needs to be done and feeling overwhelmed about the whole thing.
If you find yourself doing that same thing, stop and ask yourself, "What is the most needful thing this week? This day? This minute?" All day I have been fretting what to share for the LIFETip (actually all week, but it's been such a crazy week that I only was able to focus on and then avoid it for this morning...) Since I wasn't getting anything urgent accomplished I went with the day and spent a good portion of it playing with my children WHO WERE NOT SLEEPING (did I mention that?)
As I sat outside in the chair, enjoying the beautiful fall day (did I say PLAYING with my children? Okay, so I took a break and cheerleaded their bike riding from the side...), I of course had to still be productive so I brought out my 57th post it note and breathed a heavy sigh and said, What is the most needful thing to get done. And as I thought about it--I have about 257 things that could be done at any given moment--I honestly could not think of anything more necessary to do than to write this LIFETip. As soon as I saw that on the paper I realized, this is doable. And everything else sort of melted away.
Then at the same moment, miraculously, my baby started getting cranky and sleepy and shazam, she went down for a nap. My children came home from school, gave me loves and quick scoops (because snacks awaited) and then went off to build a fort. Unbelievably and unexpectedly I ended up with this time to myself, uninterrupted, with an easy flow of "Hey mom" while I am typing this LIFETip. All is right with the world.
So the point is to focus your energy on THE NEEDFUL THING. As you do that, everything else melts away for a moment in time, including your stress, and suddenly, the door opens.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
www.lifechangeprogram.com
Do you get through a day and feel like you've been spinning your wheels? Can I just tell you that it has been like that in great measure this week and most especially today BECAUSE MY BABY WILL NOT SLEEP AND I CAN'T GET A BLESSED THING DONE. Did I mention this is causing me a bit of stress?
Because so much of our daily society is wrapped in go-go-go, we can tend to start strong and focused at the beginning of the week or day, only to end up putting out fires instead of focusing on what matters most for us at that particular time or point in our lives.
In Good to Great, a fabulous book by Jim Collins, he discusses what makes good companies into great companies. One concept he shared was about the flywheel--that as a company focuses on one major concept and turns the wheel (no matter how long it takes to make that one turn), they will continue to turn the wheel until it gets its own momentum. Then the wheel will take off in flight with hardly any effort.
I find the same thing for my time and energy. As you go through your week, remember the LIFEChange concept of one main goal a week. This keeps your focus on exactly what will move you forward in the thing that absolutely matters most to you during the week. When I lose sight of that and get mired in my 56th post-it note to myself, I realize that I'm really not getting much accomplished. What I'm spending my precious energy on is avoiding the reality of what needs to be done and feeling overwhelmed about the whole thing.
If you find yourself doing that same thing, stop and ask yourself, "What is the most needful thing this week? This day? This minute?" All day I have been fretting what to share for the LIFETip (actually all week, but it's been such a crazy week that I only was able to focus on and then avoid it for this morning...) Since I wasn't getting anything urgent accomplished I went with the day and spent a good portion of it playing with my children WHO WERE NOT SLEEPING (did I mention that?)
As I sat outside in the chair, enjoying the beautiful fall day (did I say PLAYING with my children? Okay, so I took a break and cheerleaded their bike riding from the side...), I of course had to still be productive so I brought out my 57th post it note and breathed a heavy sigh and said, What is the most needful thing to get done. And as I thought about it--I have about 257 things that could be done at any given moment--I honestly could not think of anything more necessary to do than to write this LIFETip. As soon as I saw that on the paper I realized, this is doable. And everything else sort of melted away.
Then at the same moment, miraculously, my baby started getting cranky and sleepy and shazam, she went down for a nap. My children came home from school, gave me loves and quick scoops (because snacks awaited) and then went off to build a fort. Unbelievably and unexpectedly I ended up with this time to myself, uninterrupted, with an easy flow of "Hey mom" while I am typing this LIFETip. All is right with the world.
So the point is to focus your energy on THE NEEDFUL THING. As you do that, everything else melts away for a moment in time, including your stress, and suddenly, the door opens.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
www.lifechangeprogram.com
Monday, November 17, 2008
Responding creatively
Hi Ladies,
Just this week I was reminded of an experience years ago. My 11-year-old son had decided to run away; he was extremely angry, had semi-run away before (enough to frighten me) and had had enough of the chores, restrictions, family time, yada yada yada, that was it, he was outta here.
And in fact, he would be JUST FINE because he knew how to camp because he learned at scout camp (suddenly I despised scouts).
So there my son was, putting on his backpack with all the accessories. And the more he talked the more excited he got, detailing to me how to use the stove and all the cool gadgets him and his father had bought.
Knowing the issues my son has dealt with I was concerned. But the more I could see he really WAS prepared and really COULD camp for days, I became panicked.
Taking a deep breath, I did the only rational thing a woman could do. I called my husband. He said whoa, I'll be home in a jiff anyway let me think creatively too.
I prayed and had a thought. As he prepped his gear I casually threw out, "I'm sure going to miss you, we're having pizza tonight and your favorite ice cream. But that's okay, we'll just see you soon."
Then I made sure he heard me order his favorite pepperoni pizza from his favorite place, with rootbeer. It had already been a good half hour of stomping around--combined with the pizza thing I noticed his step slowing, that he kept having to come back for "more gear" but the zeal was leaving him for sure. Now he wasn't so sure how to get out of the deal.
Then my husband walked in. He lamented our son was leaving too, and then casually mentioned the cougars that are found in our woodland area. Just to be careful of those. And then he spoke very objectively but powerfully about bears, wild hogs and even kidnappers, who before you could say boo would take him across the state line and would never be seen again.
About five minutes later, pizza coming up the drive, he announced that he had changed his mind and he wouldn't be going after all. No one said a word about the ordeal, simply saying, great, we're so glad you're staying, grab some paper plates for the pizza.
I thought of that this week because several times, including this morning, this same son has been an incredible help and amazingly kind. He has been a wonderful caregiver helper with my little ones and sensitive to those around him in serving and thoughtfulness. In that experience and many others, we have had to respond creatively in order not to lose him in an authoritarian fight of us vs. him. And thankfully, he is turning into a wonderful young man.
Sometimes, between hormones and everyday stressors, we can tend towards an all or nothing solution with our children, spouse, neighbor, whomever. When what would work better for both is a soft, creative response.
Just for today, when something totally irks you, when someone truly offends you, perhaps pray for a creative response. Instead of flying off the handle, especially when it's justified, perhaps try a humorous comment. I remember one time my children yelling at each other (you're gonna think things are GREAT at my house). I remember saying to them, "Stop yelling at your brother--that's my job." They started laughing and it diffused the situation.
If you creatively respond just once today, that's one more time than you would have. And after that it gets easier--certainly not that you will do it all the time, but more than before. The stress is released, the atmosphere becomes calm and future stress is eliminated because it isn't working into a deeper frenzy.
So just for today, try a creative response!
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President LIFEChange
http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/
Just this week I was reminded of an experience years ago. My 11-year-old son had decided to run away; he was extremely angry, had semi-run away before (enough to frighten me) and had had enough of the chores, restrictions, family time, yada yada yada, that was it, he was outta here.
And in fact, he would be JUST FINE because he knew how to camp because he learned at scout camp (suddenly I despised scouts).
So there my son was, putting on his backpack with all the accessories. And the more he talked the more excited he got, detailing to me how to use the stove and all the cool gadgets him and his father had bought.
Knowing the issues my son has dealt with I was concerned. But the more I could see he really WAS prepared and really COULD camp for days, I became panicked.
Taking a deep breath, I did the only rational thing a woman could do. I called my husband. He said whoa, I'll be home in a jiff anyway let me think creatively too.
I prayed and had a thought. As he prepped his gear I casually threw out, "I'm sure going to miss you, we're having pizza tonight and your favorite ice cream. But that's okay, we'll just see you soon."
Then I made sure he heard me order his favorite pepperoni pizza from his favorite place, with rootbeer. It had already been a good half hour of stomping around--combined with the pizza thing I noticed his step slowing, that he kept having to come back for "more gear" but the zeal was leaving him for sure. Now he wasn't so sure how to get out of the deal.
Then my husband walked in. He lamented our son was leaving too, and then casually mentioned the cougars that are found in our woodland area. Just to be careful of those. And then he spoke very objectively but powerfully about bears, wild hogs and even kidnappers, who before you could say boo would take him across the state line and would never be seen again.
About five minutes later, pizza coming up the drive, he announced that he had changed his mind and he wouldn't be going after all. No one said a word about the ordeal, simply saying, great, we're so glad you're staying, grab some paper plates for the pizza.
I thought of that this week because several times, including this morning, this same son has been an incredible help and amazingly kind. He has been a wonderful caregiver helper with my little ones and sensitive to those around him in serving and thoughtfulness. In that experience and many others, we have had to respond creatively in order not to lose him in an authoritarian fight of us vs. him. And thankfully, he is turning into a wonderful young man.
Sometimes, between hormones and everyday stressors, we can tend towards an all or nothing solution with our children, spouse, neighbor, whomever. When what would work better for both is a soft, creative response.
Just for today, when something totally irks you, when someone truly offends you, perhaps pray for a creative response. Instead of flying off the handle, especially when it's justified, perhaps try a humorous comment. I remember one time my children yelling at each other (you're gonna think things are GREAT at my house). I remember saying to them, "Stop yelling at your brother--that's my job." They started laughing and it diffused the situation.
If you creatively respond just once today, that's one more time than you would have. And after that it gets easier--certainly not that you will do it all the time, but more than before. The stress is released, the atmosphere becomes calm and future stress is eliminated because it isn't working into a deeper frenzy.
So just for today, try a creative response!
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President LIFEChange
http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Paying attention to those inconvenient thoughts
Hi Ladies,
I've learned again the power of listening to those inconvenient "I wonder if I should/I don't really feel like it" thoughts, that occur especially when I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED OR JUST TOO BUSY THANK YOU.
Our sons go to a charter school which translates into mom driving two ways each day. At the start of the school my first efficient thought was carpool but the inconvenient thought came to me that driving with them would be a good thing.
Amazingly, this drive to and fro has been one of the most powerful, connecting, and growing experiences we have had together. For just 12 minutes each direction, I get actual SCOOPS--not just, "Fine", but actual sentences, with expressions, from both boys.
Most mornings we read a bit of scriptural text (keeps things calm) which has led us to various discussions, even the unlikely topic of abortion. I've also gotten the 411 on what goes on in the school halls, what assignments are actually due and when, and know about school events BEFORE THEY OCCUR. And, my 15-year-old's new obsession this year of checking his grades DAILY rubbed off on my 12-year-old (first year of junior high). Suddenly, they two of them had an unspoken competition of who could get the better grades, with my eldest actually making honor roll (and the younger just a few points behind).
I'm so thankful for listening, at least this time, to the inefficient thought of driving them myself, and enjoying the fruits of our labors. This week, I invite you to listen to those insistent, recurring, inconvenient yet would be good for me thoughts, whatever they might be, and give one a try. You might be pleasantly surprised ten-fold.
All my best,
Connie
I've learned again the power of listening to those inconvenient "I wonder if I should/I don't really feel like it" thoughts, that occur especially when I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED OR JUST TOO BUSY THANK YOU.
Our sons go to a charter school which translates into mom driving two ways each day. At the start of the school my first efficient thought was carpool but the inconvenient thought came to me that driving with them would be a good thing.
Amazingly, this drive to and fro has been one of the most powerful, connecting, and growing experiences we have had together. For just 12 minutes each direction, I get actual SCOOPS--not just, "Fine", but actual sentences, with expressions, from both boys.
Most mornings we read a bit of scriptural text (keeps things calm) which has led us to various discussions, even the unlikely topic of abortion. I've also gotten the 411 on what goes on in the school halls, what assignments are actually due and when, and know about school events BEFORE THEY OCCUR. And, my 15-year-old's new obsession this year of checking his grades DAILY rubbed off on my 12-year-old (first year of junior high). Suddenly, they two of them had an unspoken competition of who could get the better grades, with my eldest actually making honor roll (and the younger just a few points behind).
I'm so thankful for listening, at least this time, to the inefficient thought of driving them myself, and enjoying the fruits of our labors. This week, I invite you to listen to those insistent, recurring, inconvenient yet would be good for me thoughts, whatever they might be, and give one a try. You might be pleasantly surprised ten-fold.
All my best,
Connie
Radio Show Discusses Gratitude
Connie Sokol Talks with Heather Madder, Vicki Escarra & Kelly King Anderson
"Life Is Too Short" Talk Radio Show Discusses Gratitude Thursday
November 13, 2008– Internet & Woodland Hills, Utah–-Connie Sokol, President of LIFEChange, announces the guest for this week's global Internet radio show "Life is Too Short for One Hair Color" starting on the Planetary Streams Talk Radio Network, log on and listen on www.planetarystreams.com or to archived shows on http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/.
Connie's first guest is Heather Madder, the author Walking on the Ceiling sharing about living a life of purpose and connection.
Her next guest is Vicki Escarra, President, Feeding America, which is the National Food Bank, talking about inspirational life stories and people who have benefited by this program.
Kelly King Anderson, Founder Start-Up Princess and co-founder One Heart Bulgaria, will talk about life-changing experiences in creating her own business as well as non-profit organization.
Topic is on inspirational and life-changing stories for the gratitude month of November
"Each of these women has created a life of meaning and purpose," says Sokol. "They've had marvelous experiences in building organizations that reach out and help others in unique and life-changing ways. We want to share these inspirational stories during this month of remembering, and expressing gratitude for those who have done the same for each of us."
Sokol's one-hour radio show aims to reach all women, specifically 25 to 55, with an emphasis on life and business balance. Guests are nationally and internationally recognized authors, speakers, and business women sharing insights and connections on topics that include a personal life vision, time management, fitness and nutrition, healthy relationships, organization, and money savvy.
Mrs. Sokol's previous radio experience includes KSTAR and Bonneville Communications AM 820 "Radio for Women". She is also a former TV host of Bonneville Communications' weekly "Studio 5" and TV series "Standing Up". Mrs. Sokol is also a columnist for magazines and newspapers, and is the author of Life is Too Short for One Hair Color and Life is Too Short for Sensible Shoes.
"Women want real answers, and they want it with a side of humor, and a bit of cheesecake for the soul. That's what we provide on this radio show."
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Connie Interviews Heather Madder!
Join me and my selected guests as they weekly share fabulous success principles for your life, home, and business to get balanced, get results, and find joy. If you want to achieve a goal or discover a dream, if you need a boost for the week or a boot in the bum, this show is for all women who want to live! Every Thursday from 10 am to 11 am MST log on and listen live www.planetarystreams.com. Members of the Life is Too Short for One Hair Color Member Site can use their code to log in to archive shows.
This Week's Guests: Heather Madder
This Week's Guests: Heather Madder
www.HeatherMadder.comInspiring Others to create their lives from Love, Light, Truth and Abundance
Be Free by living from your highest self. The conditioned mentality of this 'earth school' environment is fear, scarcity, & limitation. But we are not human beings, we are spirit beings. This means that we are already love, peace, abundance, freedom, and perfect worth. We don't obtain these things by pursuing a never-ending task list, which over focuses on doing. Rather, we return to and recover them through awakening, removing blocks, and partnering with the Divine in us and the Divine in the universe. When we have connected to being, then we act; action from spirit has power, clarity, and leads to joy.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Cheesecake for the Soul with New Connie Sokol Show
Life Is Too Short for One Hair Color Author Hosts New Internet Talk Radio on Planetary Streams Expert Hosted Radio Show for Women Who Want Real Answers and a Side of Humor!
Connie Sokol, President of LIFEChange, announces the launch of the new global internet radio show "Life is Too Short for One Hair Color" starting November 13, 2008 on the Planetary Streams Talk Radio Network, log on and listen on http://www.planetarystreams.com/.
http://www.pressreleasepoint.com/cheesecake-soul-new-connie-sokol-show
Connie Sokol, President of LIFEChange, announces the launch of the new global internet radio show "Life is Too Short for One Hair Color" starting November 13, 2008 on the Planetary Streams Talk Radio Network, log on and listen on http://www.planetarystreams.com/.
http://www.pressreleasepoint.com/cheesecake-soul-new-connie-sokol-show
Paying attention to inconvenient thoughts
Hi Ladies,
I've learned again the power of listening to those inconvenient "I wonder if I should/I don't really feel like it" thoughts, that occur especially when I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED OR JUST TOO BUSY THANK YOU.
Our sons go to a charter school which translates into mom driving two ways each day. At the start of the school my first efficient thought was carpool but the inconvenient thought came to me that driving with them would be a good thing.
Amazingly, this drive to and fro has been one of the most powerful, connecting, and growing experiences we have had together. For just 12 minutes each direction, I get actual SCOOPS--not just, "Fine", but actual sentences, with expressions, from both boys.
Most mornings we read a bit of scriptural text (keeps things calm) which has led us to various discussions, even the unlikely topic of abortion. I've also gotten the 411 on what goes on in the school halls, what assignments are actually due and when, and know about school events BEFORE THEY OCCUR. And, my 15-year-old's new obsession this year of checking his grades DAILY rubbed off on my 12-year-old (first year of junior high). Suddenly, they two of them had an unspoken competition of who could get the better grades, with my eldest actually making honor roll (and the younger just a few points behind).
I'm so thankful for listening, at least this time, to the inefficient thought of driving them myself, and enjoying the fruits of our labors. This week, I invite you to listen to those insistent, recurring, inconvenient yet would be good for me thoughts, whatever they might be, and give one a try. You might be pleasantly surprised ten-fold.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President LIFEChange
http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/
I've learned again the power of listening to those inconvenient "I wonder if I should/I don't really feel like it" thoughts, that occur especially when I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED OR JUST TOO BUSY THANK YOU.
Our sons go to a charter school which translates into mom driving two ways each day. At the start of the school my first efficient thought was carpool but the inconvenient thought came to me that driving with them would be a good thing.
Amazingly, this drive to and fro has been one of the most powerful, connecting, and growing experiences we have had together. For just 12 minutes each direction, I get actual SCOOPS--not just, "Fine", but actual sentences, with expressions, from both boys.
Most mornings we read a bit of scriptural text (keeps things calm) which has led us to various discussions, even the unlikely topic of abortion. I've also gotten the 411 on what goes on in the school halls, what assignments are actually due and when, and know about school events BEFORE THEY OCCUR. And, my 15-year-old's new obsession this year of checking his grades DAILY rubbed off on my 12-year-old (first year of junior high). Suddenly, they two of them had an unspoken competition of who could get the better grades, with my eldest actually making honor roll (and the younger just a few points behind).
I'm so thankful for listening, at least this time, to the inefficient thought of driving them myself, and enjoying the fruits of our labors. This week, I invite you to listen to those insistent, recurring, inconvenient yet would be good for me thoughts, whatever they might be, and give one a try. You might be pleasantly surprised ten-fold.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President LIFEChange
http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Have you had a Sally Field moment?
Dear Ladies,
Recently I had a life-long realization in a Sally Field moment: I like me, I really like me. Before you lose lunch let me ask you this vital question: do you like yourself?
Throughout my life I have in some way wanted to be someone else. My earliest recollection was of the sixth-grade what’s-her-name that was playing the lead of Dorothy in the school play. I had tried out, all of four feet tall, shaking so badly that I put the script in front of my eyeballs and never looked up. Apparently, a short, shaky fourth grader wasn’t what they were looking for but consoled me with an obscure spot in the orchestra playing the wood blocks.
Then came Pinky Tuscadero. I can still see the t.v. screen as they panned to her pink heels, her hot pants and her red hair. Later that night I cried in my bed: why couldn’t I be Pinky Tuscadero, she had everything! I remember the actual ache in my heart that I was not, in fact, Pinky Tuscadero. She had the looks, she had the heels, she had the Fonz. Those were bitter tears.
Things didn’t fare any better in seventh grade. In our seventh-grade talent show (pre-American Idol), in walked an unknown wearing thick glasses named Molly. She wasn’t aware that this was to be my big “dancing queen” debut (think Abba). After performing my home-choreographed disco number with a luke-warm response, she brought the house down with “You Light Up My Life”. I grieved until high school.
What is it about women that we find it so hard to accept, like, and–gulp–even love about ourselves? It leads us to this cycle of comparing, criticizing and competing. Like the physical thing, our bodies. In If Life is a Game, Then These are the Rules, Cherie Carter-Scott writes “How many times has a potentially wonderful day at the beach been tainted by your judgments about how you look in a bathing suit?...Think of all the activities in your life that you have deferred until you look different, better, or perhaps even perfect.” Add to that how so-and-so looks in a bathing suit, two weeks after having a baby. It’s easy to look at the seemingly best in others and compare it to the seemingly worst in ourselves.
Accepting yourself means seeing the whole package and enjoying it for what it is, and what it can be. Gratitude gives you joy. When you see the good in your life, you are happy for the good in others’ lives. When they succeed you truly feel joy. Ms. Carter-Scott says, “You can celebrate other people’s blessings, knowing that their gifts are right and appropriate for them and that the universe has your gift right around the corner.”
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/
Recently I had a life-long realization in a Sally Field moment: I like me, I really like me. Before you lose lunch let me ask you this vital question: do you like yourself?
Throughout my life I have in some way wanted to be someone else. My earliest recollection was of the sixth-grade what’s-her-name that was playing the lead of Dorothy in the school play. I had tried out, all of four feet tall, shaking so badly that I put the script in front of my eyeballs and never looked up. Apparently, a short, shaky fourth grader wasn’t what they were looking for but consoled me with an obscure spot in the orchestra playing the wood blocks.
Then came Pinky Tuscadero. I can still see the t.v. screen as they panned to her pink heels, her hot pants and her red hair. Later that night I cried in my bed: why couldn’t I be Pinky Tuscadero, she had everything! I remember the actual ache in my heart that I was not, in fact, Pinky Tuscadero. She had the looks, she had the heels, she had the Fonz. Those were bitter tears.
Things didn’t fare any better in seventh grade. In our seventh-grade talent show (pre-American Idol), in walked an unknown wearing thick glasses named Molly. She wasn’t aware that this was to be my big “dancing queen” debut (think Abba). After performing my home-choreographed disco number with a luke-warm response, she brought the house down with “You Light Up My Life”. I grieved until high school.
What is it about women that we find it so hard to accept, like, and–gulp–even love about ourselves? It leads us to this cycle of comparing, criticizing and competing. Like the physical thing, our bodies. In If Life is a Game, Then These are the Rules, Cherie Carter-Scott writes “How many times has a potentially wonderful day at the beach been tainted by your judgments about how you look in a bathing suit?...Think of all the activities in your life that you have deferred until you look different, better, or perhaps even perfect.” Add to that how so-and-so looks in a bathing suit, two weeks after having a baby. It’s easy to look at the seemingly best in others and compare it to the seemingly worst in ourselves.
Accepting yourself means seeing the whole package and enjoying it for what it is, and what it can be. Gratitude gives you joy. When you see the good in your life, you are happy for the good in others’ lives. When they succeed you truly feel joy. Ms. Carter-Scott says, “You can celebrate other people’s blessings, knowing that their gifts are right and appropriate for them and that the universe has your gift right around the corner.”
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/
PRESS RELEASE
Cheesecake for the Soul with New Connie SokolLife Is Too Short for One Hair Color Author Hosts New Internet Talk Radio Showon Planetary Streams
Expert Hosted Radio Show for Women Who Want Real Answers and a Side of Humor!
October 31, 2008– Internet & Woodland Hills, Utah–-Connie Sokol, President of LIFEChange, announces the launch of the new global internet radio show "Life is Too Short for One Hair Color" starting November 6, 2008 on the Planetary Streams Talk Radio Network, log on and listen on www.planetarystreams.com.
LIFEChange is a proven life coaching system helping women create their ideal life and experience results in one week. Connie Sokol, founder and president, developed this unique coaching system to help women in the trenches.
"I have six children and work at home. That means I’ve dealt with every-woman realities of focusing on my family, getting organized, running a successful business, and doing it while staying fit and healthy, " said Sokol, "while simultaneously not consuming addictive quantities of quality chocolate."
Sokol’s one-hour radio show aims to reach all women, specifically 25 to 55, with an emphasis on life and business balance.
"Whether we’re from the U.S. or Scotland, whether we wear a suit or a bathrobe to work, we’re the same underneath–we want to be loved and live balanced and fulfilling lives," says Sokol. "My radio show teaches women how to create and live that kind of life, with humor and real-life solutions."
Guests are nationally and internationally recognized authors, speakers, and business women sharing insights and connections on topics that include a personal life vision, time management, fitness and nutrition, healthy relationships, organization, and money savvy.
Mrs. Sokol’s previous radio experience includes KSTAR and Bonneville Communications AM 820 "Radio for Women". She is also a former TV host of Bonneville Communications’ weekly "Studio 5" and TV series "Standing Up". Mrs. Sokol is also a columnist for magazines and newspapers, and is the author of Life is Too Short for One Hair Color and Life is Too Short for Sensible Shoes.
"Women want real answers, and they want it with a side of humor, and a bit of cheesecake for the soul. That’s what we provide on this radio show."
October 31, 2008– Internet & Woodland Hills, Utah–-Connie Sokol, President of LIFEChange, announces the launch of the new global internet radio show "Life is Too Short for One Hair Color" starting November 6, 2008 on the Planetary Streams Talk Radio Network, log on and listen on www.planetarystreams.com.
LIFEChange is a proven life coaching system helping women create their ideal life and experience results in one week. Connie Sokol, founder and president, developed this unique coaching system to help women in the trenches.
"I have six children and work at home. That means I’ve dealt with every-woman realities of focusing on my family, getting organized, running a successful business, and doing it while staying fit and healthy, " said Sokol, "while simultaneously not consuming addictive quantities of quality chocolate."
Sokol’s one-hour radio show aims to reach all women, specifically 25 to 55, with an emphasis on life and business balance.
"Whether we’re from the U.S. or Scotland, whether we wear a suit or a bathrobe to work, we’re the same underneath–we want to be loved and live balanced and fulfilling lives," says Sokol. "My radio show teaches women how to create and live that kind of life, with humor and real-life solutions."
Guests are nationally and internationally recognized authors, speakers, and business women sharing insights and connections on topics that include a personal life vision, time management, fitness and nutrition, healthy relationships, organization, and money savvy.
Mrs. Sokol’s previous radio experience includes KSTAR and Bonneville Communications AM 820 "Radio for Women". She is also a former TV host of Bonneville Communications’ weekly "Studio 5" and TV series "Standing Up". Mrs. Sokol is also a columnist for magazines and newspapers, and is the author of Life is Too Short for One Hair Color and Life is Too Short for Sensible Shoes.
"Women want real answers, and they want it with a side of humor, and a bit of cheesecake for the soul. That’s what we provide on this radio show."
###
Monday, October 27, 2008
LIFETip: Create connecting points!
Hi Ladies,
Creating connecting points is oh so vital for us, as families but especially as women. Making time, sometimes even just a moment, literally makes all kinds of health changes in a person's body, as well as uplift their mind for hours.
This past weekend my sweet hubby totally ticked me off. He had been late for two nights in a row to things that I absolutely had to be to. I usually only have three things a month that are crucial so this was incredibly annoying, moreso because it has happened before, two nights in a row. The second night I was speaking and was actually five minutes late for the speaking engagement (all the people sitting there, wide-eyed, where is the speaker??) I was livid. But trying hard to stay calm and cool, to shelve it while I spoke so that it wouldn't interfere with my ability to share what was needed.
Driving home, much calmer and happier, I realized I had a choice--connect and fundamentally share thoughts and feelings in a way that is positive or just go back to those angry feelings from the hour before.
At home we had a discussion for over an hour (we were supposed to leave on our date), and we candidly told the children that we were working something out. What made me think about those connecting points was how we resolved it, at least this time! We kept it from getting loud (by simply saying, "Please speak quietly" when it started to escalate). We kept it focused--just on this one issue of being late. I kept it to how it made me feel--lack of respect and fear each time he was involved in my needing to leave on time. He overcame his frustration at the things of his day and was able to step back emotionally and say, Okay, MY being late and my frustration had nothing to do with you.
We stayed physically connected, touching knees and sitting close. As often as was appropriate we threw in some humor. At the end he said to me, "I'll make sure that next time you have something important to you, I will put everything else second." Wow. With no flash cards or cues from me. We went on to have a really great date that night and thoroughly enjoy being together.
It has taken us 15 years to get to just this point but it is a good point and worth the time and energy put towards creating those daily connecting points.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/
Creating connecting points is oh so vital for us, as families but especially as women. Making time, sometimes even just a moment, literally makes all kinds of health changes in a person's body, as well as uplift their mind for hours.
This past weekend my sweet hubby totally ticked me off. He had been late for two nights in a row to things that I absolutely had to be to. I usually only have three things a month that are crucial so this was incredibly annoying, moreso because it has happened before, two nights in a row. The second night I was speaking and was actually five minutes late for the speaking engagement (all the people sitting there, wide-eyed, where is the speaker??) I was livid. But trying hard to stay calm and cool, to shelve it while I spoke so that it wouldn't interfere with my ability to share what was needed.
Driving home, much calmer and happier, I realized I had a choice--connect and fundamentally share thoughts and feelings in a way that is positive or just go back to those angry feelings from the hour before.
At home we had a discussion for over an hour (we were supposed to leave on our date), and we candidly told the children that we were working something out. What made me think about those connecting points was how we resolved it, at least this time! We kept it from getting loud (by simply saying, "Please speak quietly" when it started to escalate). We kept it focused--just on this one issue of being late. I kept it to how it made me feel--lack of respect and fear each time he was involved in my needing to leave on time. He overcame his frustration at the things of his day and was able to step back emotionally and say, Okay, MY being late and my frustration had nothing to do with you.
We stayed physically connected, touching knees and sitting close. As often as was appropriate we threw in some humor. At the end he said to me, "I'll make sure that next time you have something important to you, I will put everything else second." Wow. With no flash cards or cues from me. We went on to have a really great date that night and thoroughly enjoy being together.
It has taken us 15 years to get to just this point but it is a good point and worth the time and energy put towards creating those daily connecting points.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/
Monday, October 20, 2008
LIFETip: Learning to relax...
Hi Ladies,
I have to laugh because this is SO NOT ME, not something I feel I can share the most remote thing about, but then as I was on the treadmill this morning a flood of ideas came about this very topic, mostly because I need it.
After chatting with several friends about this over the past few days, I have realized yet again that we women are WOUND. Do you feel that way? Do you wake up with a knot in your stomach or feel like you're walking on eggshells, waiting for the penny to drop, the clock to strike, the disaster to hit? A friend I talked to just this morning said that in a regular conversation the other person said, "Why are you clenching your fists?" This is a rational, nice woman who openly confesses that she is wound (which of course wouldn't be any of us...)
Living this way is not only tough on our bodies and emotions but it is a one-way ticket to panic attacks, primal screams, alienating all known forms of friends and acquaintances and losing our hair. So what do we DO about it? Stop right there. It's first and foremost NOT about doing (why all the CAPS?? To make Very Important Points).
Take an actual "time" time-out. One friend said that she literally sent her husband and many children to their annual Disneyland trip WITHOUT HER. This was completely intentional. For the first time in a very very very long while she had the house to herself (don't you want to run through it, dancing in your bathrobe??) It was joy. It was divine. It was sublime. Of course they came home and she is now back on cracking out the B12s as fast she can open them but THOSE FOUR DAYS WERE FABULOUS
Breathe. When your son says he has a broken foot, the teacher calls and says you have to bring him RIGHT NOW to finish official and very vital state testing, your baby has thrown up on you, your husband forgot his cell phone and needs you drive it an hour away and you forgot the spaghetti noodles you left boiling on the stove and because of the stench you all have to live in the food storage closet for three days, HEY, BREATHE. Truly, there are all kinds of boring statistics on how fabulous, utterly fabulous just breathing well and deep is for the soul. So right now as you read this, sit up tall, breathe from your diaphragm, in through your nose for five seconds, out through your mouth for five seconds. Do that three times. Either you have passed out or you feel great, either way you have a hit a new high.
Remember life is in 24 hours. Though planning ahead is a great skill, we women can get too ahead of ourselves and frankly, squelch the fun. If you're reading this and feeling relaxed, congratulations! You are allowing yourself to let go already. If not, if you are gripping the side of the computer desk or nervously pulling at your face or hair, I invite you to go back and read the tip, this time on a print out, on the grass, looking up at the sky...
Copyright 2006 Connie Sokol/LIFEChange
I have to laugh because this is SO NOT ME, not something I feel I can share the most remote thing about, but then as I was on the treadmill this morning a flood of ideas came about this very topic, mostly because I need it.
After chatting with several friends about this over the past few days, I have realized yet again that we women are WOUND. Do you feel that way? Do you wake up with a knot in your stomach or feel like you're walking on eggshells, waiting for the penny to drop, the clock to strike, the disaster to hit? A friend I talked to just this morning said that in a regular conversation the other person said, "Why are you clenching your fists?" This is a rational, nice woman who openly confesses that she is wound (which of course wouldn't be any of us...)
Living this way is not only tough on our bodies and emotions but it is a one-way ticket to panic attacks, primal screams, alienating all known forms of friends and acquaintances and losing our hair. So what do we DO about it? Stop right there. It's first and foremost NOT about doing (why all the CAPS?? To make Very Important Points).
Take an actual "time" time-out. One friend said that she literally sent her husband and many children to their annual Disneyland trip WITHOUT HER. This was completely intentional. For the first time in a very very very long while she had the house to herself (don't you want to run through it, dancing in your bathrobe??) It was joy. It was divine. It was sublime. Of course they came home and she is now back on cracking out the B12s as fast she can open them but THOSE FOUR DAYS WERE FABULOUS
Breathe. When your son says he has a broken foot, the teacher calls and says you have to bring him RIGHT NOW to finish official and very vital state testing, your baby has thrown up on you, your husband forgot his cell phone and needs you drive it an hour away and you forgot the spaghetti noodles you left boiling on the stove and because of the stench you all have to live in the food storage closet for three days, HEY, BREATHE. Truly, there are all kinds of boring statistics on how fabulous, utterly fabulous just breathing well and deep is for the soul. So right now as you read this, sit up tall, breathe from your diaphragm, in through your nose for five seconds, out through your mouth for five seconds. Do that three times. Either you have passed out or you feel great, either way you have a hit a new high.
Remember life is in 24 hours. Though planning ahead is a great skill, we women can get too ahead of ourselves and frankly, squelch the fun. If you're reading this and feeling relaxed, congratulations! You are allowing yourself to let go already. If not, if you are gripping the side of the computer desk or nervously pulling at your face or hair, I invite you to go back and read the tip, this time on a print out, on the grass, looking up at the sky...
All my best,
Connie
Mother of six
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/
Copyright 2006 Connie Sokol/LIFEChange
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Quick organizing tip from fabulous reader!
Hi Ladies,
Here's a great and FAST organizing tip from Cindy Dandoy of Seattle, Washington. She shares the "5 Pick up" rule. Wherever you are in the home (or purse or car), simply throw away five things. She likes to clean out five things from the junk drawer while she's talking on the phone. Slick. Consider how often you have a few seconds to throw out five things and, a little here and a little there, your house is decluttered! Give this a whirl and let us know how it worked for you too.
All my best,
Connie
Connie Sokol
Mother of six
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
info@lifechangeprogram.com
801.787.4910
Here's a great and FAST organizing tip from Cindy Dandoy of Seattle, Washington. She shares the "5 Pick up" rule. Wherever you are in the home (or purse or car), simply throw away five things. She likes to clean out five things from the junk drawer while she's talking on the phone. Slick. Consider how often you have a few seconds to throw out five things and, a little here and a little there, your house is decluttered! Give this a whirl and let us know how it worked for you too.
All my best,
Connie
Connie Sokol
Mother of six
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
info@lifechangeprogram.com
801.787.4910
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
What is truly "being productive"?
Dear Ladies:
In the book, The 7 Stages of Motherhood, author and former editor of Parents magazine Ann Pleschette Murphy shares the following experience. She was sitting in the bathroom with her back against the wall while her young but capable son was taking a bath. As she looked through her daily to do list she sighed; when he asked her why, she said, “I didn’t do anything productive today.” He thoughtfully responded, “Yes, you did. You’re sitting here with me taking my bath when I don’t really need you to be here and you found Lego Man’s hair.” At that, she recalled the time taken to scour each room of the house in search of the tiny hair piece, eventually triumphant. She hadn’t considered that a “productive” thing, but eye-openingly, her son did.
With Mrs. Murphy’s experience, I then thought back through my week and reconsidered–not that I wasn’t productive in the prior list, but this time included the “other” productivity–the intangible things that also mattered, and generally mattered most. I thought of finding my son’s Yugi-Oh cards, picking up another child’s favorite lunch treat, and searching the house for the perfect crazy hat for Crazy Days at school for my 1st grader. Each of these accomplishments was met with a, “Wow, mom, you found it/did it/you’re the best!” I felt happy and fulfilled that as a mom, I had done my job! These were small, could be overlooked things to me, but they were important to them. This was just as applicable to my husband, friends and neighbors. As I thought further, I recalled picking up a sippie cup at the store–on a playdate I had noticed a hammered sippie cup belonging to a neighbor’s child, taking a pint of Ben and Jerry’s to a friend who’d been in a car accident, and making an important phone call for my husband that he had forgotten. Each person responded with joy and gratitude, and their outlook on life seemed improved. I began to see where these intangibles were definitely “productive”.
What are some of the “productive” things you do daily, that you possibly hadn’t considered? At the close of the day or evening, as you review the essential items of the day--most likely with a planner at your bedside–resist the urge to first check off your “to do” list. Instead, first recall the long-term productive moments–pausing to call a friend, stopping to look at and kiss your child as you fastened the car seat belt, turning off the TV to listen to a child or a spouse tell you something–and mentally pat yourself on the back and smile at your accomplishment.
That sounds pretty productive to me.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
In the book, The 7 Stages of Motherhood, author and former editor of Parents magazine Ann Pleschette Murphy shares the following experience. She was sitting in the bathroom with her back against the wall while her young but capable son was taking a bath. As she looked through her daily to do list she sighed; when he asked her why, she said, “I didn’t do anything productive today.” He thoughtfully responded, “Yes, you did. You’re sitting here with me taking my bath when I don’t really need you to be here and you found Lego Man’s hair.” At that, she recalled the time taken to scour each room of the house in search of the tiny hair piece, eventually triumphant. She hadn’t considered that a “productive” thing, but eye-openingly, her son did.
With Mrs. Murphy’s experience, I then thought back through my week and reconsidered–not that I wasn’t productive in the prior list, but this time included the “other” productivity–the intangible things that also mattered, and generally mattered most. I thought of finding my son’s Yugi-Oh cards, picking up another child’s favorite lunch treat, and searching the house for the perfect crazy hat for Crazy Days at school for my 1st grader. Each of these accomplishments was met with a, “Wow, mom, you found it/did it/you’re the best!” I felt happy and fulfilled that as a mom, I had done my job! These were small, could be overlooked things to me, but they were important to them. This was just as applicable to my husband, friends and neighbors. As I thought further, I recalled picking up a sippie cup at the store–on a playdate I had noticed a hammered sippie cup belonging to a neighbor’s child, taking a pint of Ben and Jerry’s to a friend who’d been in a car accident, and making an important phone call for my husband that he had forgotten. Each person responded with joy and gratitude, and their outlook on life seemed improved. I began to see where these intangibles were definitely “productive”.
What are some of the “productive” things you do daily, that you possibly hadn’t considered? At the close of the day or evening, as you review the essential items of the day--most likely with a planner at your bedside–resist the urge to first check off your “to do” list. Instead, first recall the long-term productive moments–pausing to call a friend, stopping to look at and kiss your child as you fastened the car seat belt, turning off the TV to listen to a child or a spouse tell you something–and mentally pat yourself on the back and smile at your accomplishment.
That sounds pretty productive to me.
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
Monday, October 6, 2008
Embracing what life brings you
Hi Ladies,
I went through an excruciating experience this evening known as...family portraits. Though I will share more on the subject next week, I have to say that my sweet husband continued to share his thoughts about my level of stress. His thoughtfulness was a little more than I desired, and I wanted to share my feelings on the subject right back; as in, Listen sweet cheeks, if you think I can get six children scrubbed, identically matched and STILL attired at the time of pictures, with hair in the right place, and fingers not in their noses, and noboby fighting, crying, pinching or whatever else they can think of, AND NOT BE STRESSED, YOUUUU are the one that's crazy.
It has caused me to reflect, however, on the importance of doing just what he was trying so nobly to suggest--in the thick of it, enjoy it, and simply embrace what is. Easier said than done with six young children. But he is, actually, right (you didn't hear it from me). And now I think, I should really have tried to relax and just enjoy that if someone had a fight and there was blood spurting all over their nicely matched clothes, it would, in the end, be a more realistic picture of our lives than standing with our legs resting casually on a fence and our arms casually draped over our loved ones. So live the dream, or endure the photo shoot.
All my best,
Connie
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
Thriving mother of six
www.lifechangeprogram.com
801.787.4910
I went through an excruciating experience this evening known as...family portraits. Though I will share more on the subject next week, I have to say that my sweet husband continued to share his thoughts about my level of stress. His thoughtfulness was a little more than I desired, and I wanted to share my feelings on the subject right back; as in, Listen sweet cheeks, if you think I can get six children scrubbed, identically matched and STILL attired at the time of pictures, with hair in the right place, and fingers not in their noses, and noboby fighting, crying, pinching or whatever else they can think of, AND NOT BE STRESSED, YOUUUU are the one that's crazy.
It has caused me to reflect, however, on the importance of doing just what he was trying so nobly to suggest--in the thick of it, enjoy it, and simply embrace what is. Easier said than done with six young children. But he is, actually, right (you didn't hear it from me). And now I think, I should really have tried to relax and just enjoy that if someone had a fight and there was blood spurting all over their nicely matched clothes, it would, in the end, be a more realistic picture of our lives than standing with our legs resting casually on a fence and our arms casually draped over our loved ones. So live the dream, or endure the photo shoot.
All my best,
Connie
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
Thriving mother of six
www.lifechangeprogram.com
801.787.4910
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The Need for Fun and Functional
Dear Ladies,
It’s that fabulous time of year when the leaves burst with color, and the morning air is invigorating. It reminds me of the movie “You’ve Got Mail” where Tom Hanks describes loving fall in New York as it makes him want to buy school supplies.
In that same vein, though you have heard the phrase to “sharpen the saw,” I invite you this month to “sharpen the pencil.” If you have children, they are off at school learning new and fabulous things (like how to find the cafeteria). They are experiencing new ideas, growth and friends. How about you? This is your time too. Whether your children are all at home, at school, or somewhere in between, you can create a window of opportunity to see some new rejuvenating scenery in your life.
What do you want to do–take a pottery class, get back in shape, organize the kitchen, or make time for friends? Whether it’s to clean out an old closest, finish your degree or learn how to knit, this is the time to do it.
Think about what you would like to have experienced or accomplished by November. Mentally jump a month or two down the track and imagine having or doing that wonderful thing you wanted. How do you feel?
I know the reality of accomplishing something in a few months, as myself and other women we have LIFECoached have remodeled a home, lost three dress sizes, created a one-year food storage, re-organize an office including filing system, eliminated house clutter, improved depression symptoms, organized a master cooking and shopping list, expanded a home-based business, reworked a home budget to save $1200 a month, and more.
Choose something, one thing that sounds wonderful to you. Make it either fun or functional, that way it will be rewarding: when you do something knowingly just for fun, you let go of production expectations; when you do something functional, it improves your time efficiency or energy, which is always enjoyable.
Write that one thing down and put it on your mirror. Consider ways to accomplish it. Jot notes, make phone calls, do something to make it happen. Whatever you choose, the dream is yours. Do it today!
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
It’s that fabulous time of year when the leaves burst with color, and the morning air is invigorating. It reminds me of the movie “You’ve Got Mail” where Tom Hanks describes loving fall in New York as it makes him want to buy school supplies.
In that same vein, though you have heard the phrase to “sharpen the saw,” I invite you this month to “sharpen the pencil.” If you have children, they are off at school learning new and fabulous things (like how to find the cafeteria). They are experiencing new ideas, growth and friends. How about you? This is your time too. Whether your children are all at home, at school, or somewhere in between, you can create a window of opportunity to see some new rejuvenating scenery in your life.
What do you want to do–take a pottery class, get back in shape, organize the kitchen, or make time for friends? Whether it’s to clean out an old closest, finish your degree or learn how to knit, this is the time to do it.
Think about what you would like to have experienced or accomplished by November. Mentally jump a month or two down the track and imagine having or doing that wonderful thing you wanted. How do you feel?
I know the reality of accomplishing something in a few months, as myself and other women we have LIFECoached have remodeled a home, lost three dress sizes, created a one-year food storage, re-organize an office including filing system, eliminated house clutter, improved depression symptoms, organized a master cooking and shopping list, expanded a home-based business, reworked a home budget to save $1200 a month, and more.
Choose something, one thing that sounds wonderful to you. Make it either fun or functional, that way it will be rewarding: when you do something knowingly just for fun, you let go of production expectations; when you do something functional, it improves your time efficiency or energy, which is always enjoyable.
Write that one thing down and put it on your mirror. Consider ways to accomplish it. Jot notes, make phone calls, do something to make it happen. Whatever you choose, the dream is yours. Do it today!
All my best,
Connie Sokol
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
Mother's bathroom--a communal gathering place?
Hi Ladies,
I've been struck again at how often the bathroom becomes a communal gathering place for my children; as in, only my bathroom. I know this can be a somewhat delicate subject, but the fact of the annoying matter is that my children can be playing happily for AN HOUR with nary a hiccup, and then as soon as I head for le toilet, it's re-enacting the running of the bulls at Pamplona.
My suggestion for you--if this is a problem in your life--is to simply say, "This is mother's domain. OUT!" or something just as pointed but lovely. Too often I realize that I'm content to continue their conversations in and out of the restroom, which only adds to the belief that they are allowed to continue such conversations.
Feel free to draw a clear line in the sand, or the tile: when mother rushes into the bathroom, DO NOT FOLLOW, DO NOT CONTINUE TO SPEAK, DO NOT MAKE REQUESTS OR DETAIL EPISODES OF STAR WARS WHILE SHE TRIES TO HAVE ALONE TIME. The solution for them? Simply wait. I invite you to try this remarkably simple yet overlooked action today.
All my best,
Connie
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
Thriving mother of six
www.lifechangeprogram.com
801.787.4910
I've been struck again at how often the bathroom becomes a communal gathering place for my children; as in, only my bathroom. I know this can be a somewhat delicate subject, but the fact of the annoying matter is that my children can be playing happily for AN HOUR with nary a hiccup, and then as soon as I head for le toilet, it's re-enacting the running of the bulls at Pamplona.
My suggestion for you--if this is a problem in your life--is to simply say, "This is mother's domain. OUT!" or something just as pointed but lovely. Too often I realize that I'm content to continue their conversations in and out of the restroom, which only adds to the belief that they are allowed to continue such conversations.
Feel free to draw a clear line in the sand, or the tile: when mother rushes into the bathroom, DO NOT FOLLOW, DO NOT CONTINUE TO SPEAK, DO NOT MAKE REQUESTS OR DETAIL EPISODES OF STAR WARS WHILE SHE TRIES TO HAVE ALONE TIME. The solution for them? Simply wait. I invite you to try this remarkably simple yet overlooked action today.
All my best,
Connie
Executive LIFECoach
President, LIFEChange
Thriving mother of six
www.lifechangeprogram.com
801.787.4910
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Event Notice--Connie speaking at the Expo
Connie is speaking at "What Women Want Expo" this Friday!
This Friday night, September 26th, at the South Towne Expo Center at 7 p.m., Connie Sokol will be speaking on "Lose Perfection, Get Direction, and Enjoy the Process!"
She'll share key principles and practices to get balanced and feel the joy while getting there. Free LIFEChange product drawing held at the conclusion of the presentation. Expo admission to $5.
http://www.whatawomanwantsshow.com
This Friday night, September 26th, at the South Towne Expo Center at 7 p.m., Connie Sokol will be speaking on "Lose Perfection, Get Direction, and Enjoy the Process!"
She'll share key principles and practices to get balanced and feel the joy while getting there. Free LIFEChange product drawing held at the conclusion of the presentation. Expo admission to $5.
http://www.whatawomanwantsshow.com
Weekly LIFETip: A Communication Situation
LIFECoach Tip: Have you got a communication situation?
Hi Ladies,
Recently I received an email from a mother who shared: "I just came in from picking up my son and having a huge shouting match about his misplaced homework being my fault, all this while driving. I flipped out and he flipped out, so now he's grounded for a week, and of course he doesn't care. I left him in the car for a few hours to write a paper on why he should respect his mom and how this whole thing could have been avoided. I came back to my desk at work crying thinking, 'This is just the beginning. What am I to do for the next six teenage years?'"
My response to her, and to you if you have a communication situation with a teenager, or husband, or co-worker, is to consider using validation and repair attempts. Validation is understanding his position, which position may be totally irrelevant, or really out there. But it's vital to validate that he FEELS that, "I can see how you feel that way, that I'm just spending most of my time picking on you." Then you can sweetly move into the "Can we look at it from another angle..." A repair attempt is when things escalate, you take a deep breath, and say something like, "You know, I love you son, and this conversation isn't going somewhere helpful. I really want to hear what you're saying, so I'll speak softer." It's also adding a little light-hearted humor, "So in a nutshell, you're saying I'm annoying???" As you validate or use a repair attempts, and KEEP YOUR COOL, you'll see big changes in your ability to communicate.
All my best,
Connie
ConnieSokol
President,LIFEChange
info@lifechangeprogram.com
www.lifechangeprogram.com
801.787.4910LIFEChange
Copyright (c) 2008All Rights Reserved
Hi Ladies,
Recently I received an email from a mother who shared: "I just came in from picking up my son and having a huge shouting match about his misplaced homework being my fault, all this while driving. I flipped out and he flipped out, so now he's grounded for a week, and of course he doesn't care. I left him in the car for a few hours to write a paper on why he should respect his mom and how this whole thing could have been avoided. I came back to my desk at work crying thinking, 'This is just the beginning. What am I to do for the next six teenage years?'"
My response to her, and to you if you have a communication situation with a teenager, or husband, or co-worker, is to consider using validation and repair attempts. Validation is understanding his position, which position may be totally irrelevant, or really out there. But it's vital to validate that he FEELS that, "I can see how you feel that way, that I'm just spending most of my time picking on you." Then you can sweetly move into the "Can we look at it from another angle..." A repair attempt is when things escalate, you take a deep breath, and say something like, "You know, I love you son, and this conversation isn't going somewhere helpful. I really want to hear what you're saying, so I'll speak softer." It's also adding a little light-hearted humor, "So in a nutshell, you're saying I'm annoying???" As you validate or use a repair attempts, and KEEP YOUR COOL, you'll see big changes in your ability to communicate.
All my best,
Connie
ConnieSokol
President,LIFEChange
info@lifechangeprogram.com
www.lifechangeprogram.com
801.787.4910LIFEChange
Copyright (c) 2008All Rights Reserved
Welcome to LIFEChange
Welcome to the LIFEChange blog! If you're ready for a change, we've got it. Whether you want to Get Fit, Get Organized, Get a personal LIFEVision, or Get Connected in your relationships, you'll find something juicy and empowering in this blog. Check out these LIFETips, resources, book picks, and the low down on the life of a woman, wife, and mother of six getting balanced, getting happy, and getting real using LIFEChange principles.
And what exactly is LIFEChange? LIFEChange is a personal LIFECoaching program helping you live your ideal life. Our Certified LIFECoaches in each 30-minute session will guide each woman successfully through transitions with real-time solutions tailored to personal needs.
You can see results in one week.
To find out how real women used and liked the program, visit http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/ and get the inside scoops. Browse around and see what we're all about!
Meanwhile, check out this week's LIFETip, newspaper column, and other juicy bits of woman-in-the-trenches-and-lovin' it. I'm excited to share with you, in Clint Eastwood verbage, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of daily living using LIFEChange principles. Join me!
All my best,
Connie
Mother of six
President, LIFEChange
Executive LIFECoach
And what exactly is LIFEChange? LIFEChange is a personal LIFECoaching program helping you live your ideal life. Our Certified LIFECoaches in each 30-minute session will guide each woman successfully through transitions with real-time solutions tailored to personal needs.
You can see results in one week.
To find out how real women used and liked the program, visit http://www.lifechangeprogram.com/ and get the inside scoops. Browse around and see what we're all about!
Meanwhile, check out this week's LIFETip, newspaper column, and other juicy bits of woman-in-the-trenches-and-lovin' it. I'm excited to share with you, in Clint Eastwood verbage, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of daily living using LIFEChange principles. Join me!
All my best,
Connie
Mother of six
President, LIFEChange
Executive LIFECoach
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