Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Have Faith in Your Dreams!

Hi Ladies,

As I thoroughly savor the experience of being a part of Education Week this week, I look back to about six years ago, before I began speaking there, and marvel at what has taken place.
Because of this, I have to share just a thought about having faith in your personal dreams--I mean the ones that you are holding deep in your soul and not letting take flight.
When my babies were just that, babies, I desired to share messages of value to women. But it seemed out of my reach for many reasons--exhaustion, fear, lack of time, unsupportive husband, dysfunctional families, you name it, all affecting my personal desires.
But step by step, little by little, I moved forward. I read a little here, spoke a little there, applied it to my own marriage and family and before you know it, here I am doing and living the dream and very life that I had envisioned but was afraid would never have.
Dear ladies, DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS! Whatever they may be. Whether it's a healthy marriage, secure finances, painting or writing, whatever it is do not think for a second you can't do it. Of course you can. You must be willing to put forward some energy and some faith--no matter your specific spiritual persuasions--which both actually end up being one and the same.
I learned this again this past year when we did Weekend for Women, a gutsy adventure for me. I was thrilled that Fox News called to say we would be on their program the day before the conference to talk about the conference. My mom and another LIFEChange board member were flying in that morning and I could quickly squeeze it in for the promotion of the event that we needed.
The morning of I decked out in my suit and even my fat tourniquet (those "body sizers" that about suck your life blood) and began the drive to Salt Lake (after major choreography with sitter, etc.) En route I received a beautiful and apologetic call from the show's producer saying it was impossible to do it that morning because they had one anchor out on illness and three live shots (which is unusual and difficult with one anchor). She had pored over and scaled the schedule to get even two minutes and said she was still two minutes over with the scaling down and without us being on.
I told her that I completely understood and was about to hang up the phone when I got a feeling of peaceful hope. So I said to her (being my bold self) that if things changed I had my cell on me and I would be at the airport (which HAPPENED to be right by Fox studios).
As I drove to the airport I considered changing out of that uncomfortable fat squeezer and into jeans (which I had brought for the weekend) but the thought came, show a little faith here. So I stayed in my suit.
I picked up my mother (flight was EARLY--who has heard of that?) and the other lady right on time. We had just barely left the airport when Fox News called and said, Um, we have had some cancellations and have a few minutes open, are you interested? We whipped a u-ie and laughed ourselves sick as I was driving, trying to find the right street to get back on the highway, and the both of them tried to fluff my hair and refresh my makeup.
We arrived and I literally ran from the car into the back door where I was shown to the studio, and we were live!
It was an amazing experience to me to remember the power of faith. Putting one step forward, remembering the purpose of your dream, is powerful stuff.
It doesn't matter your age, situation, hair color or shoe size. Your dream matters and it CAN come true. You must be willing to make the commitment to it. It doesn't matter if it takes one year or 10 years, it is worth every hour, thought and sacrifice to become who you desire to be.

All my best,

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


Start the New Year Right!

Cleaning Out Emotional Clutter!

Monday, December 22, 2008


Slow it down!

Enjoy this holiday season. Learn to savor life.

Listen to Connie's Get a LIFEVision tip here.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


LIFETip: Beat the Holidy Blues

Thrive this Holiday season!

Beat the Holiday blues.

Listen to Connie's Get a LIFEVision tip here.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


LIFETip: Intuitive Eating

Prepare yourself for all the holiday eating this season.

Listen to Connie's LIFETip on intuitive eating.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Get Organized Before Christmas!

Are you missing the cream?

Hi Ladies,

A few weeks ago I had an experience that just made me stop and look at the world differently--you know the kind of glimpse you get when suddenly you think, Why didn't I see it that way before? Reminds me of the song in Runaway Bride that says (paraphrasing), "Today, I took a walk among the flowers...I never saw blue like that before."

It's been a busy summer. I didn't know why I was feeling so exhausted and impatient. I seriously felt like running away from home. Then talking with a friend I realized that with all six children home every day, it had taken it's toll on my time. So I got it together and worked with my husband to carve out some time for myself. Wonderful. Good. End of story.

Except that this through this one particular moment I suddenly looked at my children and thought--am I missing the cream? Am I just waiting for them to hurry and grow up so I can get some sleep, and in the meantime, missing the good stuff?

I'm not talking about being hard on ourselves or not owning that it's a tough season of life, not at all. And generally I feel like I am a good mother, as you are. But sometimes I wonder in our society, and in our private moments, if we are missing the joy of children.

I read years ago in C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce--about people from Hell getting a chance to visit Heaven-- that while there they saw a beautiful woman with the most extraordinary light and angelic singing around her, and just the most majestic, incredible sight you could see. Someone said, Oh that must have been someone very important (like a senator or president). And the host said, Oh no, she was a mother.

Too often, I confess, I am ready for them to nap before they are, too functional because we need to keep a schedule and too quick to cut the humor out of our life.

I have had not one, but MANY people for some reason lately (in a grocery store, on a walk) share with me, "It flies Connie, you will blink and they will be gone." Of course, that's usually when it's a very long day and I think, I know you are right but I just can't feel it.

So I have tried very hard to jump forward and see what it will feel like not to have them here everyday. It's been an interesting experiment. I find myself paying attention to their spirit more than the state of their rooms. I look in their eyes more and cup my hands on their cheeks, even my older ones. When my Cindy-Lou-Who looking three-year-old was supposedly down for the night, we heard a soft creak, then a patter, then, the impish face peeking around saying, verbatim, "Mom, I want to cuddle you...I just want to be with you...I just like you."

I have put down my notepade on "my time" and played another game or simply looked into their eyeballs while, in discovery, they pluck and rip out mine.

I am learning to listen to them and to take note. Yesterday my daughter skipped on the sidewalk as we talked of what things she could be when she was older. She turned to me in pure elation and freedom and said, "Mom, when I grow up, I want to be myself." Then a skip and a turn, "I don't know what I want to do, but I know I can do it." I almost burst into tears right there. At six she has savvy that took me years to learn. As I listen to her, and FEEL her words, I feel strengthened and know I can do it too.

My husband and I got a glimpse awhile ago of what it may truly feel like to not have them here. We had been over a group of young adults in our church, about 25 of them from 18 to 30. Then things changed and the adults began attending a specific time block for their age group. One Sunday we were all connected, the next Sunday they were gone. I was bereft. I wasn't emotionally prepared for the change, though I knew it was coming. Their spirit, energy and vitality, our connection was gone. And though it wouldn't have been right or any good to try to prolong it--they needed to move on--it still has left a space in my heart that I just don't know how to fill.

I imagine that's a little like what my own children leaving will be.

So now, thanks to your and others' sweet reminders, I am trying to soak up the cream now. To see them, to experience them and not wish it away for a better time. To simply enjoy.

All my best,
Connie Sokol
Mother of 6
Executive LIFECoach
President LIFEChange